i should be asleep but i'm not. two klonopin have done nothing to calm me. only so slightly. the urge to claw at my wrists has subsided. hysterics. i have been in hysterics for the last two hours. how i'm able to sit and type is a mystery to me. i feel like my heart is falling away from me. like the breathe and very life is seeping from my body. this is despair in its short term form. i don't have the time or energy for it to continue. and really, if i compartmentalize things....that "other" situation has absolutely nothing to do with me. not my fucking problem. the moment it becomes my problem i'm out. i don't know what bizarre counter reality i woke up to today but it's fucking psychotic. straight up psychotic and whoever is running the show has a shitty ass sense of humour. kismet. from each person and every heartache there is knowledge to impart.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL