crazy crazy fucking weekend. ended up not hanging with queen Todd. He is endlessly tied up with his 23 year old boyfriend. whatevs.

went to the softball game friday night. dear god, i was a mess. i was so depressed before i headed out there. what was i NOT on? ambien = bad news bears.

do not remember much of the night. steis filled me in today. i was fucked up. thank god i did not drive. i think i kept punching drake. todd b. gave me a ride home. well, not exactly home.

interesting development. not entirely freaked out by it. a welcome change.

saturday afternoon i picked up my car from walt & steis's. they were like, "so, have a nice evening...?"

drove straight from there to the shoot with eddie. omg it was so much fun. golden silk corset and a golden delicious apple with a bite taken out of it. smokey eyes. eddie was crazy with his assistants. what i wanted, i got. "joy baby, just tell me, you got it. water, coffee, coke? name it."

met up with Todd again at this Thrasher anniversary party. I dragged one of Eddie's assistants with me so I wouldn't get lost. It wasn't exactly either of our scenes, but it was definatley an experience.

headed home late but not too late. visited my new friend. slept all day. ate thai food.

not all that bad i suppose, just terribly tired. i need my space but i'm terribly freaked out. i don't know what to trust. my center is off.

i think i'm going to smoke a cigarette. let this angst simmer down.

---

Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL