in a strange universe i walk along. this morning i awoke, 6 am, to the crashes of NPR. the death and mayhem they deliver is devastating; so early in the morning, interspersed as it was, with the remnants of my night visions and their pledge drive. and who can say what is fact and what is fiction; what indeed, this consciousness i capture, is.

months ago i spoke with my father's wife...christopher and I had been to a protest. his wee arms carrying his peace pleading sign. "oh...what was it for?" she asked in glee. protesting the war. "the war's over!" she squeaked in oblivion. she, whose only news source is the current lifetime drama on John the Everchanging Gigolo. she feeds on the Word of entertainment tonight, dines from the buffet of instyle and us weekly. gardens in the afternoon, attends church every sunday. a good girl, not yet awake. dutifully doing her chores, cooking her low fat meals, buying to her hearts content. i envy her ignorance. her placid existance, life forever after, promised a happy ending, in His grace.

day by day i toil at my nonsense. to pay the bills. to "make a living". a generation or three of enterprising little soldiers, diligently pursuing the golden god of "success". our purpose...keep the machine running, work hard, play hard, fill the part. even at times of global despair. "support america...we'll show them...never say die...SHOP." and exit stage left, our conscious conscience. with a task at hand how can we have time to look outside the warm nest of repetition.

i see the signs. i hear the low rustle. what to do what to do. we're going to hell in a hand basket and we're taking the rest of the planet with us. not our fault. not our problem. i might even be gone before it REALLY starts. when hurricanes hit kansas, not just florida. when we walk our once peaceful streets and meet the enemy face to face, no longer a news flash on our short term memory. when my child is a man and is led to fight by the current jackass fearful leader.

but today is wednesday and i have reports to mail out. appointments to schedule. bills to pay. a battle of my own to wage. and oh my god why are you late. and oh my god that is soooo cute. and every small thing is an amazon of headache. time turning on itself. love a residual carried forward. our lives so very very important and that small corner of the world so very far off.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL