i'm waking from a deep trance that has been my life the last four months. getting back to myself. the real Joy, not the laquered fascimille that was put in place to guard and protect. although that shiny self is still here, she'll be taking a seat in the back. there is nothing more important to me in this world than my child. my blood. soon, he will be home.

i have little time to prepare. nothing like leaving it to the last minute. i've been living like a bachelor for months. trader joe's should be a high priority this week. put something in the fridge other than old takeout and beer. i don't even drink beer (unless it's stella, which none of it is). i'll stock up on chocolate soy milk, apple juice, banana chips, juice boxes, broccoli. goodness, how the child eats broccoli!

small blond babe, skin a warm bronze from sunning on the shores of the med. ridiculous english accent which will fade with time. oh and how he will chatter in his sing song voice, words with four syllables.

for me a brief sabbatical. rest, recharge, ground.

then the war will begin. and i have the strength and determination to see it through to the end. whatever it takes. i will not be docile any longer. the smouldering embers have sparked. the fire now blazes in earnest.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL