and now i know that i'm just in love with the pain. well not really. but i must be. it's just something i can rarely escape. it's like fucking jiminy cricket on my shoulder but he doesn't sing happy songs or give good advice.

and we all know that misery loves company. i actually emailed the lyrics to the good witch of the north with the subject line being "unabashadly unfair". oooh, now that's so sweet. what a kind gesture of friendship.

ladies and gentleman, there is much to be said for "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." i used to scoff at that remark as sexist and mysoginistic. but friends, in this case any way, it is true, damn true.

you see...i don't mind moving on from a relationship when i'm good and ready. i don't even mind it so much when i'm plain booted b/c there's usually a damn good reason for it. what i can't comprehend, what doesn't make sense to me is going from singing me the above fucking song yada yada yada and then not so many months later going to, "sorry babe, i gotta focus on the band." or some such other inglorious shite.

if it wasn't for knox and my love for him as a brother, i'd say fuck thedeadbullfighters and fuck all of M.'s hopes and dreams. because he pretty much shat on my dreams and our plans together for what our life was going to be.

and now it returns to him. in spades.

i want to let go. i want to forget. i want THIS.

---

Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL