dear fucking god i'm losing my mind. glad to hear, isn't it? yes, it's quite a comforting thought...that yes, indeed, i am going crazy. ah, it would be so much easier if that was the case. nice quiet hospital room, all the sedatives i could possibly want, psychologists and nurses pandering to my every need.

but there is not room for that. i have to suck it up and get to work. WORK! just fucking deal. i hate this. i hate that there is no one to help me through this. sure, there are people who "care" or are "concerned"...but someone who can actually be here to hold my hand and tell me it's okay. to walk me through it. i don't mind being alone but not when everything is so fucking MUCH.

i can't believe my father. i feel so abandoned.

the end is nearly in sight. i'll be out soon. the work will be done before i know it. there is only starting to worry about.

---

Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL