quite lacking in inspiration these days. the ink well seems to have run dry. i read through some past work and the critic in me cringed. it was all so down and self-gratifying. but then i didn't exactly write it with the intention of publishing...and i was pretty damn depressed at the time. i have volumes of that shiezah.

i'm not so much depressed now as i am disillusioned. the beauty in the world has gone. there is far too much practicality in my life and not enough soul. circumstances have stifled my ability to wander and wonder. day in day out, listless and unconcerned. and a drink with a new person won't fix a thing.

my life, a suspended animation, where one moment blurs into the next and i'm not even sure i remember my name let alone yours. time is constant, the same cyclical delusions patronizing. as if i wouldn't notice, and meekly fall into place.

i want to move to the forest and live free of all of this mediocrity. off the grid. dress the trees and bathe in a river. laze away an afternoon reading just one book and finishing it in a sitting. the speckled light filtering through the canopy above. dust fairires floating up the sun. stare into the blue sky chasing the vitreous floaters with clouds. jet to a studio and spend three solid days painting one enormous canvas. drinking nothing but green tea. one day concretely distinguishable from the next. scoop up my bebe and head for the hills. three months is far too long for him to be away.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL