the strangest thing happened earlier. i had MSN messenger open as usaul cuz it lets me know if i have email and sometimes i'll bug steissy with it. and then out of the blue carmen pops up. she went out with my brother in highschool and basically coordinated my moms whole wedding a few years back. i haven't talked to her in AGES!! she's graduating this weekend and good for her. she is such a sweet girl. but she was telling me how sick she got a while ago and she's still dealing with anorexia. she was so healthy before!! what is wrong with this picture?!! so many girls i know have struggled with this. it's crazy. this culture we live in breeds it. it's sick sick sick. i want to heal them all. i want to destroy the machine that creates it.

well, at least i've decided not to contribute to it by modeling. i don't want to be part of it.

first healing myself is where i need to begin. i am there. i am better. i am well, i need to continue with it.

but seriously this shit is obnoxious. at least i don't watch tv anymore. and i'm not going to buy fashion magazines either. basically anything that is commercial that causes me to feel bad about myself is out. i wish somebody would go bomb hollywood and all the advertising and marketing people. tear down the mega corporations. destroy the "music" industry. get back to grassroots art that real people make. obliterate the false images that are created for the sole purpose of selling and making money at the expense of people.

there are too many people who enjoy it though. they are too ignorant to see it for what it is or they just don't care. i was at the airport last weekend and these three women in their 40's were gossiping about american idol like it was the only thing in their lives to think about. puhh-lease!!

this country is going to hell in a handbasket and fast. it is no wonder the rest of the world hates america. people here inject bacteria into their skin to get rid of their wrinkles for chrissakes!!

bigger is not better. you can be too thin. more does not bring happiness. neither does money. neither does fame. and anyone who goes searching for these things should really take a hard look at why they are doing it.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL