hhhmmm, clarity...

i've realized that i do have matt even though it didn't seem so before. i was concentrating too much on the negative, rather than taking a look at the big picture. he is my friend. we are forming a new relationship as friends without the heartache of a breakup. he has chosen to be there for me after "bf/gf" ended, when in the past, with every other woman he has run away. hey, that makes me feel pretty cool, that i am that special and important to him to stick around for the aftermath and forge a new bond. so we're not currently sleeping together...so what. he is my friend and that is ultimately more important. we do have a relationship but it just isn't bound by the outside dimensions of "bf/gf". the whole bf/gf trap seems ridiculous to me anyway. i have had relationships with many men, but i haven't ever thought of one as my "boyfriend". it's a lame definition made up by teen magazines to make young girls feel inferior and lacking. i have had my men but none of them i felt the need to to deem boyfriend. actually that's a word i've never used independently. it was brought up by others to describe my relationship with matt. he is far more than that. or less. whatever. regardless, we are no longer bound to that trite definition for our relationship. we can forge our own path.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL