i've been facing some demons lately; it seems to me at least. like knowing i get momentarily upset when i see a certain person. or maybe not upset. but like emotionally erratic. confused. and it's something i dive into even when i know its going to be difficult. not quite in a sadistic way. but in a kick ass powerful way. like i'm challenging myself to face the painful beast of emotion head on, take it by the horns and tame it. and i'm growing at an expotional rate for my efforts.

some people are of the mind that i should break off all contact. like that will be the safest thing. but i simply can't do that. that seems complacent. that seems like giving in to a tragedy that needn't be. i'd rather power through the hard stuff and get to being in a good place. and if that means i'm slightly saturated in intensity occasionally, so be it. i'm learning to hold myself in high esteem. acting as graciously as i can manage. and containing things to low rumble when i'm upset.

yes it hurts, yes it's difficult. but once i push through that challenge i'm on the other side of it and a bit more evolved. ready to face the next test of my character.

and i'm thankful that i have such understanding friends who put up with me through it.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL