Well, I've made some positive steps to kick my ass into gear. I called JE and set up a time to go back in to see the woman's division agent. Funny thing though, the exact guy I met with before is no longer with the agency. But the new guy still knew who I was and sounded very thrilled to have me come in.

I'll also do some detective work about City to see what kind of work they could get me, how much time they spend with models to develop them, etc.

And I finally called the dude back that I met at the gas station. He was funny and was like, whoa i didn't actually think you were going to call back, it's been like 2 weeks. Two weeks? Jeezus, my sense of time seems really skewed. It didn't seem like that long. Anyway I was trying to put him off for a couple weeks (again) busy schedule and all that, but maybe we could get lunch during the week and he was like, "okay, how about tomorrow?" meaning today. so we'll see what happens. At least it's a step in the right direction.

And Mr. UPS has been unabashadly flirting with me for weeks. But in a very sweet way, trying to cheer me up and such. He is actually very sweet and pretty damn hot. So, I might let him take me out I guess.

Ahhh... it is funny how much of a reluctant party I am to all of this. Almost to the point of being afraid to be nice to guys, let alone go out with them. I have never been one to "date". Not even in high school. I always had a strange awkwardness around guys. I don't think I have ever actually had what would be considered a typical, casual "boyfriend". Obviously I don't count Matt in that category since circumstances around our meeting were unconventional to say the least, plus we lived together.

Oh yeah, we're trying not to think about him. Let's change the subject.

So, okay, steps in the right direction. Moving on with my so called life. I think now that I've vented some of my, er, issues around he who must not be named, I will go back to putting him out of my mind anytime any sort of sappy, sad, depressing, angry, or resentful thought comes into my head. It's not worth my time.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL