is it now a butterfly baggage i carry? sweet and simple my gumby boy carries lightly. somewhere my friends toil on end. we are all busy these days. sun shining on us. working and working we rarely look up. we are golden yet graciously weary. my sweet, we will have time some day? our time returned to... we are growing from loud and obnoxious to... heaven forbid... and I will always love you. and you will always be my friend. no matter how grown up we get. my eyes float in their briney soup. sniffle. smile. happy times surely, but I am so tired. and i miss you, my buddy. our odd family in the big blue house. the silent tuna melter, the gentle cow dog, the terrorist child. and you and me. but it's never as gilted as it seems. there's always the lovely way we like to remember things. but even so, i miss you terribly. and i just want your hugs and your smile. and to drive for miles. endlessly. toward the trees and beach and all those places north of here. and rest. and eat. and laugh and speak. doing nothing and everything. together.

but gaddammit there is still so much work to be done!!! so we live our seperate lives and it's just fine and fucking dandy. but for fuck sake, i miss my best friend!!! all the busy-ness and newness in the world cannot replace you. nothing matches up. no one. nothing. these flashy faces and new places. no where near the joy i found with you. it's flighty and temporary. you are eternal, bound to my heart as is my child. in my blood.

but it's fine. just fine. to be away from you. as i am fine with being from my baby for months at a time. easy as pie. as easy as it is to have my heart divided. easy. no problem. just fine. doing swell. doing swell.

i'm smiling because I have to. there is no excuse. no one wants the back story. so carry on! carry on. day by day. working. working. working.

---

Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL