shape
So if this spot is so inspirational one would think it'd have a better name than "inspiration point". Grey. Haze. Fog. Eucalyptus somewhere. Bench with plaque reading:
A Gift from the Grizzly Peak Cyclists
1999
Come Ride With Us
* * * *
Me, this vessel.
Held together with packing tape and string
At times so close to...
Evaporated milk.
I don't care if that makes any sense. I'm writing because it's what I do. Whether or not it's "good" or if anyone likes it. I couldn't give a fuck. I am a writer but not by trade. Therefore I do not have to earn my living by it. So if I have a day, or week, or endless stretch of crap then so be it. I'M TIRED Frustrated? About to throw my discman out the window cuz it keeps freaking skipping. This too shall pass.
Beautiful hills. I want them for my home. A cow and some chickens. Horses? And more organic vegetables in the garden then I'd know what to do with. A golden puppy. Muddy boots on the front proch. A porch swing and rocking chair. High speed wireless internet on my laptop. Roomfulls of books and books and more books. Lavender, honeysuckle, lambs ear, sage, foxglove, poppies, jasmine.
Ohh, and I'd bake. Hot muffins, gooey cakes, experiments gone awry. Later, babies, many many babies, a brood. And Aunties there to help. And I suppose there would need to be a daddy. Strong and sound. Resourceful. Respectful. None of this chauvanistic bullshit of women or "girls" are only of value if they are either young and/or beautiful.
For shame. Your mother and sister would be so sad. But true colors come out when you're not looking. Such an eye opening experience. Whim or not, it disgusted me. My opinion of you, your value, decreased ten fold. We should use our energies wisely and delicatley. With special attention to intention. Maybe you don't care anymore. Maybe it's the stress. Knock yourself out. Whim or not, that energy, as dastardly as it is, has been put out. Tread lightly or lose me forever. And fuck you for snapping at me Tuesday when I found out my circumstances. "You really shouldn't complain/whine..." or some such shite. Yeah, no shit. Oh, but if it's okay with you, pretty please can I have permission to process through this?!
My love for you, as it is, floats futher into the distance. Good, bad, indifferent. I'll let it go if I have to. And you're making it so much easier. "But...but...look at all I've done for you..." Acknowledged and much appreciated. It shows your dedication and love for me as my friend. Still, I want your heart; though, it's not there for you to give. "Gone Fishin". I respect your selfishness. I'm finding the strength for it when I can. How convenient to be born a man.
Much later...
Rock on, rocker. I wish you blessings and love. You were right, no matter what, we will be happy.
Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005
ALL
1999
Come Ride With Us
* * * *
Me, this vessel.
Held together with packing tape and string
At times so close to...
Evaporated milk.
I don't care if that makes any sense. I'm writing because it's what I do. Whether or not it's "good" or if anyone likes it. I couldn't give a fuck. I am a writer but not by trade. Therefore I do not have to earn my living by it. So if I have a day, or week, or endless stretch of crap then so be it. I'M TIRED Frustrated? About to throw my discman out the window cuz it keeps freaking skipping. This too shall pass.
Beautiful hills. I want them for my home. A cow and some chickens. Horses? And more organic vegetables in the garden then I'd know what to do with. A golden puppy. Muddy boots on the front proch. A porch swing and rocking chair. High speed wireless internet on my laptop. Roomfulls of books and books and more books. Lavender, honeysuckle, lambs ear, sage, foxglove, poppies, jasmine.
Ohh, and I'd bake. Hot muffins, gooey cakes, experiments gone awry. Later, babies, many many babies, a brood. And Aunties there to help. And I suppose there would need to be a daddy. Strong and sound. Resourceful. Respectful. None of this chauvanistic bullshit of women or "girls" are only of value if they are either young and/or beautiful.
For shame. Your mother and sister would be so sad. But true colors come out when you're not looking. Such an eye opening experience. Whim or not, it disgusted me. My opinion of you, your value, decreased ten fold. We should use our energies wisely and delicatley. With special attention to intention. Maybe you don't care anymore. Maybe it's the stress. Knock yourself out. Whim or not, that energy, as dastardly as it is, has been put out. Tread lightly or lose me forever. And fuck you for snapping at me Tuesday when I found out my circumstances. "You really shouldn't complain/whine..." or some such shite. Yeah, no shit. Oh, but if it's okay with you, pretty please can I have permission to process through this?!
My love for you, as it is, floats futher into the distance. Good, bad, indifferent. I'll let it go if I have to. And you're making it so much easier. "But...but...look at all I've done for you..." Acknowledged and much appreciated. It shows your dedication and love for me as my friend. Still, I want your heart; though, it's not there for you to give. "Gone Fishin". I respect your selfishness. I'm finding the strength for it when I can. How convenient to be born a man.
Much later...
Rock on, rocker. I wish you blessings and love. You were right, no matter what, we will be happy.
Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005
ALL
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