i've been muddling a thought or two over recently. (ha! that is the funniest understatement)

i don't think i really want to pursue modeling commercially. i really enjoy collaborating with different photographers and making beautiful images, i like the idea of working with people who still have a passion for it, who are maybe still learning. however, i really don't like what the images in a massive commercial market represent. i don't like what it does to people. to young, impressionable girls who look at something in a magazine and say, "I HAVE to look like her (buy that), that's what will get me [fill in the blank]." i was one of those girls. and i know many.

i don't watch tv anymore. i don't buy women's magazines. i know the damage inundating a population with false idols and images of what women supposedly SHOULD look like can do. it is sad, really sad. real women don't look like twelve year olds. or even sixteen year olds. it is unnatural to have breasts the size of her head while having no fat anywhere else on her body.

there are massive amounts of women in america, women of any given age, who are fixated on having that body or that look. so they work, they buy, they "reinvent" themselves, their natural selves, into what some assholes on Madison Avenue think will push that populace even further so they will continue to buy, buy, buy. because if anyone actually got to that unattainable beauty, without killing themselves first, they wouldn't need to buy the products or watch the programming. and then the jigs up. ahhh, but that is not how capitalism seems to operate. the bar is raised higher, the models become thinner, so the ideal is further out of reach - beyond reach. and then there you have your constant demand.

i don't want to be part of that poison, even in a small capactiy. i had made the decision, initially, to not sign with the agency because of this very thing. i didn't call them for months. then they called me. i wasn't going to call back but i thought, "oh, what the hell". and now i'm theirs. for the next year anyway.

soapbox story aside, i wouldn't enjoy modeling if i had to do it all the time. i like being able to choose who i work with. when i work and contributing to the artistic process of photography. not for profit, not for use as an advertisement. because we enjoy what we're doing. that's what i love. capturing the essence of a concept in a single frame, creating a moment and saving it for all time.

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Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL