I had horrible dreams last night. Reliving V-day. Over and over and over. The same conclusion. The same sadness. Of something that is not.

But I try and remember the goodness that is still there. The friendship. The history. Writing this makes me want to puke. Not because it's insincere but because it's embarassingly true. And I'm so damn sentimental about it.

Dreams are strange things. Through them I live my fantasies and fears. Maybe it was the wine and the headache. Maybe it was the truth. I don't want to know for sure. I ought not to future trip and place my assumptions and fears on what is yet to be. I have so much time still I need to be spending on myself. I need to focus on this instead.

I am here now. It is the first day of March. How did we get this far into the year already?

---

Last Five
treasure - Thursday, Sept. 06, 2006
need - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
where is here - Friday, May. 13, 2005
save me. - Monday, May. 09, 2005
nonsense - Sunday, May. 01, 2005

ALL